Never raise your hand to your kids. It leaves your groin unprotected. ~Red Buttons
Youth is a disease from which we all recover. ~Dorothy Fulheim
Fatherhood is pretending the present you love most is soap-on-a-rope. ~Bill Cosby
I don't care how poor a man is; if he has family, he's rich. ~M*A*S*H, Colonel Potter
Middle age is when your age starts to show around your middle. ~Bob Hope
They say that age is all in your mind. The trick is keeping it from creeping down into your body. ~Author Unknown
Thanks to modern medical advances such as antibiotics, nasal spray, and Diet Coke, it has become routine for people in the civilized world to pass the age of 40, sometimes more than once. ~Dave Barry, "Your Disintegrating Body," Dave Barry Turns 40, 1990
They say that age is all in your mind. The trick is keeping it from creeping down into your body. ~Author Unknown
Spread the diaper in the position of the diamond with you at bat. Then fold second base down to home and set the baby on the pitcher's mound. Put first base and third together, bring up home plate and pin the three together. Of course, in case of rain, you gotta call the game and start all over again. ~Jimmy Piersal, on how to diaper a baby, 1968
Just remember, once you're over the hill you begin to pick up speed. ~Charles Schulz
Growing old is mandatory; growing up is optional. ~Chili Davis
When I was younger, I could remember anything, whether it had happened or not; but my faculties are decaying now and soon I shall be so I cannot remember any but the things that never happened. It is sad to go to pieces like this but we all have to do it. ~Mark Twain
Sherman made the terrible discovery that men make about their fathers sooner or later... that the man before him was not an aging father but a boy, a boy much like himself, a boy who grew up and had a child of his own and, as best he could, out of a sense of duty and, perhaps love, adopted a role called Being a Father so that his child would have something mythical and infinitely important: a Protector, who would keep a lid on all the chaotic and catastrophic possibilities of life. ~Tom Wolfe, The Bonfire of the Vanities
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