I'm sixty years of age. That's 16 Celsius. ~George Carlin, Brain Droppings, 1997
Time may be a great healer, but it's a lousy beautician. ~Author Unknown
Because time itself is like a spiral, something special happens on your birthday each year: The same energy that God invested in you at birth is present once again. ~Menachem Mendel Schneerson
Making the decision to have a child is momentous. It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking around outside your body. ~Elizabeth Stone
Oh, the comfort, the inexpressible comfort of feeling safe with a person, having neither to weigh thoughts nor measure words, but pouring them all out, just as they are, chaff and grain together, certain that a faithful hand will take and sift them, keep what is worth keeping, and with a breath of kindness blow the rest away. ~Dinah Craik
We know we're getting old when the only thing we want for our birthday is not to be reminded of it. ~Author Unknown
Dad, your guiding hand on my shoulder will remain with me forever. ~Author Unknown
I still have a full deck; I just shuffle slower now. ~Author Unknown
I don't care how poor a man is; if he has family, he's rich. ~M*A*S*H, Colonel Potter
Middle age is the time when a man is always thinking that in a week or two he will feel as good as ever. ~Don Marquis
Spread the diaper in the position of the diamond with you at bat. Then fold second base down to home and set the baby on the pitcher's mound. Put first base and third together, bring up home plate and pin the three together. Of course, in case of rain, you gotta call the game and start all over again. ~Jimmy Piersal, on how to diaper a baby, 1968
Thanks to modern medical advances such as antibiotics, nasal spray, and Diet Coke, it has become routine for people in the civilized world to pass the age of 40, sometimes more than once. ~Dave Barry, "Your Disintegrating Body," Dave Barry Turns 40, 1990
Never raise your hand to your kids. It leaves your groin unprotected. ~Red Buttons
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