Henry James once defined life as that predicament which precedes death, and certainly nobody owes you a debt of honor or gratitude for getting him into that predicament. But a child does owe his father a debt, if Dad, having gotten him into this peck of trouble, takes off his coat and buckles down to the job of showing his son how best to crash through it. ~Clarence Budington Kelland
When I was younger, I could remember anything, whether it had happened or not; but my faculties are decaying now and soon I shall be so I cannot remember any but the things that never happened. It is sad to go to pieces like this but we all have to do it. ~Mark Twain
Middle age is having a choice between two temptations and choosing the one that'll get you home earlier. ~Dan Bennett
The secret of staying young is to live honestly, eat slowly, and lie about your age. ~Lucille Ball
Growing old is mandatory; growing up is optional. ~Chili Davis
When I was a boy of fourteen, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But when I got to be twenty-one, I was astonished at how much he had learned in seven years. ~Author unknown, commonly attributed to Mark Twain but no evidence has yet been found for this (Thanks, Garson O'Toole!)
Never raise your hand to your kids. It leaves your groin unprotected. ~Red Buttons
Oh, the comfort, the inexpressible comfort of feeling safe with a person, having neither to weigh thoughts nor measure words, but pouring them all out, just as they are, chaff and grain together, certain that a faithful hand will take and sift them, keep what is worth keeping, and with a breath of kindness blow the rest away. ~Dinah Craik
Just remember, once you're over the hill you begin to pick up speed. ~Charles Schulz
Wisdom doesn't necessarily come with age. Sometimes age just shows up all by itself. ~Tom Wilson
Middle age is having a choice between two temptations and choosing the one that'll get you home earlier. ~Dan Bennett
A diplomat is a man who always remembers a woman's birthday but never remembers her age. ~Robert Frost
A birthday is just the first day of another 365-day journey around the sun. Enjoy the trip. ~Author Unknown
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